mylifeinmegabytes:

So one of my friends broke her arm falling off her porch and her hot neighbor friend took her to the emergency room. When she about to get a xray the technician asked “is there any possibility of you being pregnant?” and she’s like “No” the technician looked at her, looked the the hot neighbor friend then look back at her and asked "Are you sure?"

(via cutting-is-the-only-way)

ging-ler:

thedizbizz:

So I showed Frozen to my boyfriend and I decided to share the brilliant commentary he made during the movie…

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This is probably going to be my Brother-in-law right here oh my god

(via sparkletomyunicorn)

thisurltotallysucks:

dion-thesocialist:

It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.

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(via sqongebob)

I hate it when I consider someone my best friend and I think they’re the best person in the world so I buy Shit like friendship necklaces, tell them everything, and hang out all the time. Then they fucking stab me in the back with lies and make me regret ever calling them my best friend. What the fuck is this Shit.

stardusttx:

grapewallofchina:

your life hasn’t been completed until you see giraffes fighting 

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you’re welcome

i thought they were partying

(Source: babyknope, via sqongebob)

I fucking hate how I think I know someone but then I figure out the truth of them from someone else. Why can’t people just tell the truth? Everyone’s so full of lies and bullshit. I may not be perfect either but at least I’m honest with shit. If you just tell me the truth yourself then I won’t judge, but figuring out the horrible things you’ve done or are doing from someone else gives me a different perspective of you, causing me not to trust you.